By Daniel Hooker A child asked his father, “Can you explain what a solar eclipse is?” The father said, “No, Son.” ~ As I wake up to my first cup of dark French Revolutionary roasted coffee, I wonder if I should have another. Nah, it’s decapitated. ~ Did you hear about the parishioner who got…
By Daniel Hooker From Shannon on my Facebook page: Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way. ~ Recently, I’ve been eating so much pickled garlic to get over a summer cold that It’s had a side effect: those people who have been flapping around and driving…
By Daniel Hooker From Eliza Q: What kind of shoes does a literary writer wear? A: Converse. ~ Some people are confused about what a will is. To me, it’s pretty obvious. It’s a dead giveaway. ~ Archeologists are having a huge party tonight. They found the largest dinosaur tibia bone ever! It should be…
By Daniel Hooker From my friend Micolino: Q: Were did Noah stow his bees? A: In his arc hives. ~ From Amelia at the Library: Q: How do flowers whistle? A: With their two lips. ~ From David at Ace Hardware: Q: How do you protect your bagels? A: You put a little lox on…
By Daniel Hooker From Lin Simpson: Q: What did the Italian fisherman say when he caught an eel? A: That’s a moray. ~ Q: Why can’t chickens make more than one sound? A: Because they can’t think outside the boks. ~ I have a cousin who collects a lot of magazines. He’s got a barnful….
By Daniel Hooker I’m tired of everything being abbreviated. I keep on asking folks what IDK means. They keep telling me, “I don’t know.” ~ I’ve been reading a horror in braille, just to practice my skills. I know something bad is going to happen. I can feel it. I’ve already got goose bumps! ~…
By Daniel Hooker Does anybody remember the chiropractor joke I told? It was about a weak back. ~ Everyone knows that Albert Einstein was a genius. But did you know that his brother Frank was a monster? ~ I met a friend the other day with my dog. I was telling her a joke, when…
By Daniel Hooker I had to cut ties with an old friend who was dragging me down. Yup, mountain climbing is a hard sport. ~ I took a laxative before New Year’s Eve, just so I wouldn’t drag myself through the same manure as last year. ~ My friend made a suggestion for traveling free….
By Daniel Hooker I went to psychic the other day, and knocked on her door. She said, “Who’s there?” I guessed she wasn’t a full psychic, only a medium, so I left. ~ From Steven at the Library. Q: What is a librarian’s favorite type of mushroom? A: Shhhh, talkies. ~ From Monet at Thriftway….
By Daniel Hooker I’m doing some work on the house. First floor, everything is on track and going well. But upstairs is a different story. ~ The definition of Irony: the opposite of Wrinkly. ~ Witches are really bad at math, but great at spelling. ~ A pony goes to the vet, and says, “Doc,…