By Daniel Hooker From Eliza Q: What kind of shoes does a literary writer wear? A: Converse. ~ Some people are confused about what a will is. To me, it’s pretty obvious. It’s a dead giveaway. ~ Archeologists are having a huge party tonight. They found the largest dinosaur tibia bone ever! It should be…
By Daniel Hooker From my friend Micolino: Q: Were did Noah stow his bees? A: In his arc hives. ~ From Amelia at the Library: Q: How do flowers whistle? A: With their two lips. ~ From David at Ace Hardware: Q: How do you protect your bagels? A: You put a little lox on…
By Daniel Hooker From Lin Simpson: Q: What did the Italian fisherman say when he caught an eel? A: That’s a moray. ~ Q: Why can’t chickens make more than one sound? A: Because they can’t think outside the boks. ~ I have a cousin who collects a lot of magazines. He’s got a barnful….
By Daniel Hooker I’m tired of everything being abbreviated. I keep on asking folks what IDK means. They keep telling me, “I don’t know.” ~ I’ve been reading a horror in braille, just to practice my skills. I know something bad is going to happen. I can feel it. I’ve already got goose bumps! ~…
By Daniel Hooker Does anybody remember the chiropractor joke I told? It was about a weak back. ~ Everyone knows that Albert Einstein was a genius. But did you know that his brother Frank was a monster? ~ I met a friend the other day with my dog. I was telling her a joke, when…
By Daniel Hooker I had to cut ties with an old friend who was dragging me down. Yup, mountain climbing is a hard sport. ~ I took a laxative before New Year’s Eve, just so I wouldn’t drag myself through the same manure as last year. ~ My friend made a suggestion for traveling free….
By Daniel Hooker I went to psychic the other day, and knocked on her door. She said, “Who’s there?” I guessed she wasn’t a full psychic, only a medium, so I left. ~ From Steven at the Library. Q: What is a librarian’s favorite type of mushroom? A: Shhhh, talkies. ~ From Monet at Thriftway….
By Daniel Hooker I’m doing some work on the house. First floor, everything is on track and going well. But upstairs is a different story. ~ The definition of Irony: the opposite of Wrinkly. ~ Witches are really bad at math, but great at spelling. ~ A pony goes to the vet, and says, “Doc,…
By Daniel Hooker I was going to cook alligators tonight. But then I realized I only had a crock pot. ~ What kind of award does a dentist get for excellence? Aw, he just gets a little plaque. ~ Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth, then it becomes…
By Daniel Hooker “If you haven’t ever tried archery blindfolded, you’ll never know what you missed.” That’s a pointless joke! ~ This joke is from Keena: Q. What to do you get when you cross a snake with a pastry? A. A pie-thon, of course. ~ My dog is so smart. I asked him, “What’s…