By March Twisdale
Authors Note: Written in collaboration with Jane Valencia, Island queer community residents, business owners, and others impacted by recent events.
No matter how you slice it, a pitchfork mob is to be avoided. Lately, we seem to be forgetting this.
Most are familiar with the story of “Beauty and the Beast.” In the story, we see that pitchfork mobs don’t start off waving their farming implements in the air. First, they gather in a community space and listen to persuasive and increasingly vitriolic rhetoric targeting a proposed enemy. The villagers then become frightened, alarmed, outraged, and finally, we have the Shrek moment: “You know! Grab your torch and pitchforks!” Whether the mob uses actual spades, rakes, and shovels, or keystrokes, captured videos, and pressured boycotts, the theme remains the same.
Ironically, it is Belle – one of two victims in the situation – who, having chosen bravery over her fear, has discovered that “the Beast” is both aggressor and victim, to whom she responds with compassionate strength. As a result, she is horrified by Gaston’s rhetoric and the mobilization of the villagers, knowing they do not see the beast clearly. In fact, they haven’t even tried.
Communication is hard, and there are tools to make it easier, such as asking clarifying questions and practicing active listening. Even when we meet in person, with the full benefit of a person’s body language and tone of voice, we can still misunderstand someone’s meaning. Or, people can literally misspeak, making clarifying questions all the more important. Challenges aside, talking to one another is worth the time, effort, and patience it requires, as it helps us move toward peace.
When people are triggered or jumping to conclusions, onlookers have a vital role to play. Diving immediately into the fray and allying with one hardline stance or another is like throwing gasoline on a burn pile. It’s incumbent upon us all to maintain our composure and encourage positive resolution skills.
A few weeks ago, a local Facebook group exploded over “Pride-related” videos created by Father Tryphon, of our Island’s All-Merciful Saviour Russian Orthodox Monastery. The existence of a conservative Russian Orthodox monastery on an Island with the highest percentage of LGBTQ heads of households (according to the last two census records) is an example of our mission statement as a nation (our Constitution) being achieved. This is diversity at its best! And, it’s also an opportunity for conflict and misunderstanding.
This is no trite disagreement over an inconsequential issue. The Monastery’s worldview differs markedly from current queer trends and values. That said, over the past few weeks, I’ve learned that a number of Islanders who identify as queer hold distinctly different viewpoints from those being expressed on Facebook. In fact, my queer friends are less comfortable speaking up publicly than I am.
And then there’s what has happened to our Island’s grocery store owners and staff. Being dragged into the conflict, under threat of being labeled “this, that and the other,” if they don’t remove the Monastery coffee from their shelves, has been a disappointing and stressful experience. Raising the all-important question, “How do we choose peace?”
In a public announcement, “Kingian Nonviolence” was mentioned by those organizing an in-person meeting “to combat” the perceived threat of Father Tryphon’s videos. Kingian Nonviolence is a step in a peaceful direction. Yet, these valuable, wise philosophies and methods need to be used correctly.
Principle Three of Kingian Nonviolence argues against the coerced “store shelf boycott” of the Monastery’s Coffee, because Kingian Nonviolence encourages active listening and respectful engagement, which hadn’t happened prior to the call for a boycott. From Principle Four: Negotiation, “the art of bringing together your views and those of your opponent to arrive at a just conclusion or clarify the unresolved issues, at which point the conflict is formalized.” Principle Five: Direct Action, is only encouraged “when negotiations have broken down or failed to produce a just response to the contested issues and conditions.”
Amid this conflagration, responsibility to “bring together our views to clarify unresolved issues” falls equally upon the Monastery and aggrieved Islanders registering their complaints. Both have struggled with this step toward peaceful resolution, and both deserve our encouragement at this tender time. Bridging the gap (not widening the divide) is where we will find community peace. Not in radicalization or insularity.
As Plutarch Heavensbee writes in his character’s final scene of Mockingjay Part 2, “The war’s over. We’ll enter into that sweet period where everyone agrees to not repeat the recent horrors … [but] … we’re fickle, stupid beings, with poor memories and a great gift for self-destruction. Although, who knows? Maybe this time we’ll learn.”
That’s the point. Every generation must be taught, again and again, forever. There’s no point is getting upset when people repeat the mistakes of recent and long past generations. That’s inevitable, and it’s why we have myths, fables, and teachings designed to pass the learning on to the next generation. Thankfully, we are blessed to live in a country where we’re still free enough to speak up and illuminate the room.
Therefore, as a trans Islander friend of mine recently said, “Will we choose peace? If so, how will we choose peace? And, for whom?”
In conclusion, I want to personally encourage the owners of IGA and Vashon Thriftway to return the Monastery’s Coffee to their shelves, making a clear statement to the community that our “grocery store commons” are two things: private businesses and neutral territory. It is not peaceful to use “a false dilemma” to get one’s way.
A “false dilemma” creates a false sense of limited options (you’re either supportive of the queer community or you’re against it), forcing a choice between two extremes, even though alternatives exist, such as allowing Islanders to choose for themselves whether to boycott the Monastery Coffee. This alternative, suggested initially by Thriftway and IGA, doesn’t meant that the owners, management, and staff of our local grocery stores are bigots. And, it’s not peace-creating to imply they are. Please stop.
