By Seán Malone and John Sweetman
From John: We rarely write about contemporary things, but this story is now old enough to be a least on the edge of vintage recollections.
Over 20 years ago, I had helped Seán return to the Island, and he had acquired a great place. An old cabin, situated above a steep bank on Pillsbury Road. The only trouble was the bank in front was slowly sliding away.
Not to worry! We had a plan. We were going to trim the alders and blackberries back and install various vertical bank reinforcements to prevent the annoying but minor expulsion of debris from the steep bank. Turns out, the idea was much simpler to plan than actually execute, as have been most of our well-laid plans over the years.
Our first idea was to cut the various, intrusive blackberries and “dog hair” Alders into small pieces and lay them as sort of a mulch on the downhill side, against the small stumps and cut-off blackberry remains. This turned out to not be a good idea, as the hillside was nearly vertical, and gravity began to be less of our friend than when we were younger.
At that time in our life, both of us were agile chainsaw operators. Seán, in particular, was a rare genius with a chainsaw. No one could sharpen a chainsaw as well as Seán, and after helping with his wood-cutting for years, no one could make precise cuts and pack a cord of wood squirrel-tight as well as Seán.
Frankly, Seán is a wood cutting elitist snob. All his rounds were precise, square cut, and knots bumped. Maybe Alex Sinner can do the same now, but Seán’s work is both “art” and wood.
So, after we both spent a few days “chipping and chopping” “big” debris into “smaller” debris, we soon noticed our work was, firstly, “a lot of work,” and secondly, we were not having much effect on the bank stabilization concept. Seeing the puny results with our small saws, we were ready to give up on the project.
Twenty years ago, this new thing appeared on the internet: “Vashon Freecycle.” A kind of revolution in the way we Vashonites got rid of “stuff.” Now, the old way was to merely push unwanted crap into the bushes or swamp and let the natural acids of blackberries and nettles take their usual style of hiding or decaying.
Of course, the alternative then, as now, was to push stuff to the side of the road, hoping for someone with less good sense to pick it up. The result was pretty much the same as the other alternative, except it was now on county right-of-way and someone else’s problem. “Freecycle” offered various items for “free” and sort of cut out the “middleman” of roadside pickup.
Seán and I discussed: “If we only had a chipper!” Freecycle! And sure enough, that is where the venerable “Mighty Mac” chipper came in! Free! (You haul …).
We transported this machine to Seán’s place and got it into the bank overhang. We used it for a bit; the results were better but not much better than our previous work. So, we hauled it up the hill to my place on the Burton Loop.
A few notes about Mighty Mac, which is the identification on the venerable device: it appears to date from the late 60s. There are minimal safety features … as in none. Exposed belts, flailing pieces of steel, and not even a warning of “Do not put your head in this funnel.” But it worked.
I loaned Mighty Mac out, but was always called to “fix” it. So, I figured it was like a dog that had adopted me as a companion and just would not work for anyone else. Sometime in the distant past, a friend helping me lost a phone from his shirt pocket into the Mighty Mac’s maw of swirling blades. So, I claim it even has “Wi-Fi.”
I used this vintage machine on unruly backyard waste and trimmings. At that time, our neighbor, John Beba, and I were doing a lot of woodwork. Sixteen-inch planers … massive sanders … routers, and so on. Things could be a bit noisy at times. Sometimes, I recall the beautiful symphony that was a combination of the 16-inch planer and the Mighty Mac!
From Seán: Well, one day, John beckoned me over to look at a “new” device he had acquired to go with his vineyard. Painted red … compact, and brand new was a chipper!
We tried it out, and it sure worked smooth. He asked me, “What you think?’ I replied, “It sure is smooth, uses less gas, and does not clog up much.”
John added, “And it has … bright red paint.”
“Yeah sure,” I said. “But all that aside, ours makes a lot more noise than yours and I’ve been telling people the Russian Mafia has been mowing our lawn, which pretty much has kept the riffraff outta the area!”
One time, a significant part broke, so I took it to my old friend, Lee Smith of Burton fame. Lee looked over the parts and observed that there had been an apparent design flaw. He carefully made a new part and corrected the error.
The old piece of metal is still running … started on the third pull this spring. I’m not a real fan of the Russians anymore, so I’ve changed my alibi about the noise. I just claim that it’s a device to drive away the coyotes, and it’s a good response to those annoying leaf blowers.
