… or Reflections on Last Wishes
By Jane Valencia
Last year our family researched the possibility of home burial – you know, where, if you have land, you can bury your family the old-fashioned way. Dig a deep hole in the ground and lay your loved one in. Home burials, however, are not currently permitted in Washington. HB 1065, which seeks to allow family burial grounds on certain types of private property, continues to appear in legislation. It also continues to stall.
If you wish a home burial, you’ll need to move to a state that permits it, although you’ll want to carefully research what state and local restrictions may be in play. These often have to do with distance from property lines and water sources, and may have other requirements.
For natural burial on the Island, Vashon Cemetery has a green burial section. Some more information is provided in the accompanying side bar (see below).
In researching natural or “green” burial and cemeteries, I discovered a variation on the concept. Have you heard of “conservation cemeteries”? We hadn’t either. But on our trip to Tennessee in early August, we visited one called Larkspur Conservation, tucked away in Taylor Hollow out in the hills north of Nashville.
Larkspur is both a nature preserve and natural burial ground, with the conservation cemetery aim to ecologically restore and preserve the land. A conservation easement held by an independent, accredited conservation organization protects the land from ever being sold for development. In essence, the burials safeguard the preserve.
As with green burials, one’s body is laid into the ground, with only biodegradable caskets, clothing, and other items involved. In green burial grounds, gravestones are often of native stone, and plantings (once the land has settled, about a year later) are limited to a few native plants. Ornaments and decorations are usually restricted or not permitted. In a conservation cemetery, the site itself is actively part of the ecological restoration, meant to become one with the earth.
During a burial at Larkspur, family and friends process with the deceased up the broad woodland path to the chosen site. The hole is ready and layered within with flower petals and pine needles. The loved one – lying in a simple softwood casket or swaddled in a cloth shroud – is lowered by ropes, often by family members themselves under the guidance of Larkspur staff. A ceremony takes place, and each attendee has the opportunity to place a handful or shovelful of earth or a flower within as they offer a last good bye. Then, participants are welcome to return the soil to the grave, and then to place pine needles and cut flowers on the resulting mound. Sometimes family and friends sprinkle native flower seeds atop.
Over time, the mound breaks down and becomes part of the meadow.
All graves are marked with a metal disc with the name and death year inscribed upon it, and contain a GPS coordinate. One can also include a modest-sized native stone inscribed with the full name and birth and death dates. There is no room for other inscription.
For this type of burial to be a good match, the family and yourself (when alive), must be at peace with the reality that we don’t physically last forever. Loved ones can visit you indeed (the GPS coordinate helps them find you), but they will not be setting up a bench for you or special ornaments, or cultivating your plot in a certain way. They will, however, experience the beauty and blessing of continuing life and the promises inherent in that.
At least that’s what I experienced when I wandered one of the meadows on that sweltering August day. Our family had arrived at Taylor Hollow, viewed information postings about the native plants, trees, birds, the ecological restoration underway, and about the grave sites and conservation cemetery (plus a post offering information about tick safety). We walked up the dirt road amidst the woods, and experienced the quiet of this very much off-the-beaten-track preserve. Birds sang, insects hummed or buzzed. I continued on to the meadow, and began to find the grave sites. They lay intermingled with incredible wildflowers in bloom, including one of my favorites, passion flower (they look like little alien spacecrafts). It is true (I imagine) that in time the meadow will turn into a woodland, and these flowers too will pass.
But the beauty and life in such a place are hymns of eternity, and promises of that. For me in this moment, I see no need for my grave site to exist as a monument to withstand the centuries. Still, I would love for someone to cultivate a wee medicinal herb patch upon it, leaving space for candles and such, as loved ones might care to place. To be nestled in God’s creation as I await the second coming – that notion is music and balm to my soul.
Dress me in my baptismal gown and rest me in a wicker casket of willow and seagrass, or a simple one of pine. Drape a burial shroud upon me and place a cross in my hands and the icon of my patron saint at my side. Lay me in the ground facing east, an east-facing cross before me, and beside the place where my husband in his time will rest. May there be cedar fronds and gathered flowers and aromatic herbs to layer in or scatter as inspired.
Weave me in a last tapestry of prayer, and a song or two – yours or the birds’, and toss in a handful of earth. If grace allows, I’ll continue within the river of leave-taking that begins with the separation of soul from body, flows through the first days of vigil and liturgy, and is blessed like stars in the succession of future memorials.
No, don’t “just throw me in the ground.” But the ground indeed can help hallow me, becoming a cradle in the passage, a boat to new life. One in which, God willing, we meet again within the joy of the saints and angels.
Find Out More:
Green Burial – www.orderofthegooddeath.com
Larkspur Conservation – larkspurconservation.org
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Green Burial with the Vashon Cemetery.
In March 2023, The Loop published an article, “Vashon Cemetery’s First Green Burial” by March Twisdale (read it on vashonloop.com). Since then, the Vashon Cemetery’s Greenwood Natural Burial section has sold out, and has a wait list.
The Vashon Cemetery District in partnership with the Vashon-Maury Land Trust, hopes to acquire more land for natural burial in the future. They are seeking properties that are non-wetland and have reasonable access.
If you have property you wish to donate or sell, please contact Lisa Devereaux, Vashon Cemetery Manager, lisa@mohlerfuneralhomes.com or 206-463-9300, or the Vashon-Maury Island Land Trust, info@vashonlandtrust.org, (206) 463-2644.
