By Daniel Hooker
The urge to sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is only a whim away.
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Relationships are like newspapers.
Everyday there’s a new issue.
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I have issues and fears surrounding taking elevators, but I’m taking steps to avoid them.
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A sheepdog returns to his farm and says, “You have all 70 sheep in the eastern paddock, so my job is done for the day.”
The farmer says to the sheepdog, “Wait a minute, wait a minute! I’ve only got 67 sheep.”
The sheepdog replies, “I know. I just rounded them up.”
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Q: What’s the best way to watch a fishing tournament?
A: Live-streaming, of course.
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Amal and Juan are identical twins, but the mother only carries one picture of them.
Yup, once you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.
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I got an email the other day about a course teaching you how to read maps backward.
Of course, I think it was only spam.
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We’ve all heard of Werewolves, nobody mentioned the Who, the What, or the Whywolves.
Let’s just take a paws and reflect on that.
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Q: Why did the mummy lose all of his money?
A: Because he invested everything in the crypto market, and it buried him alive.
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Q: What do you call a chicken’s ghost?
A: A poultry gheist.
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Q: What do demons and dad bodies have in common?
A: To get rid of them, you have to exercise a lot.
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Q: What’s a mummy’s favorite music?
A: Wrap. It’s a solid dead beat!
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From Shannon, at the Liquor Store:
You can’t call it a murder of crows without a probable caws.
