By Daniel Hooker
Q: What do you get when you cross a GPS with an alligator?
A: A navigator.
~
I have a contact lens problem.
I have no solution.
~
I want to tell you about this woman that I know who only eats plants.
I know you never heard of her-bavore.
~
I went to a silent auction the other day. I won a dog whistle, two agitated mimes dressed in blue, and a pair of new hearing aids.
Note: I know not everyone will get this joke, but some have!
~
The other day, an old Islander told me that the majority of the car accidents on Island were caused by deer!
I said only an Island as liberal as Vashon would let deer drive. So be aware of the deer on-Island. They might have you in their headlights.
~
I went to the Bank yesterday on my crutches. The teller said I had an outstanding balance.
I said, “Thank you. I studied several martial arts when I was young.”
~
Someone said that I should do stand-up comedy.
I said, “At my age, I’d rather do sit-down. At least then when my jokes die, I won’t be far from the floor.”
