Q. You want to know what the longest word in the English language is? A. Smiles! The first and the last letter are a mile apart. ~ Q. What do you call a retired cowboy who is too crazy to go out on the trail anymore? A. De-ranged! ~ If a priest gets defrocked, shouldn’t…
By Daniel Hooker I had an experience at the Senior Center many years ago. Carl, a deaf man, was telling a joke. As he walked around the room, all you could hear was the punch line, “Dam! Dam! Dam!” The expressions on the elderly ladies were precious. They thought he had lost his mind. Finally,…
By Daniel Hooker Two Stories. A young woman, maybe 35 years old, came to the table. “Do you have any formal dress clothes? I just got a job. It starts tomorrow.” She went on to explain that, in Seattle, someone had broken into her car and stolen all her clothes and shoes. She was nine…
By Daniel Hooker Q: What do you call a paper airplane that can’t fly? A: Stationery! ~ I bought a new thesaurus, and all the pages were blank. I was left without a word. I thought that joke was funny, so I told it to two young people in their twenties. They asked me what…
By Daniel Hooker From Steven at the Vashon Library: By mistake, I swallowed some disappearing ink and had to go to the hospital. I had to wait to be seen. ~ Q: Why do cows have bells? A: Because their horns don’t work. ~ From Thalia at Granny’s Attic: Q: Where do they milk camels…
By Daniel Hooker Q. How do you ask a country girl out on a date. A. Attract ‘er! ~ Q. You know it’s springtime when you look out your window and you see two black birds stuck together. A. And then it snows, and you realize they were just vell-crows. They stick together until the…
By Daniel Hooker I have been given permission to share two experiences of COVID vaccine injury. The stories are from an Islander and a former Islander who lived here many years. Story 1: “A few months after the vaccines came out, I took the vaccine (Moderna) knowing I would soon be required to anyway (since…
By Daniel Hooker Before crowbars were invented, crows used to drink at fresh streams and rivers! ~ Q. What do you call two crows fighting on a fence? A. Attempted murder! ~ Our family name is Hooker, but it used to be Baker. For obvious reasons, we were into baking. But eventually we had to…
By Daniel Hooker With help from our Community, Granny’s Attic, Mary Ashby Milne, and of course the Vashon-Maury Island Food Bank, I have been giving clothing and bedding away for years, and it’s been a pleasure. We need volunteers! The Vashon Maury Island Food Bank serves approximately 280 individuals and families a week, and so…
By Daniel Hooker Q. What’s the most dangerous thing in your bathroom to use as your life preserver A. A sink! ~ From J.J. Mormon at Island Lumber: I can’t understand why New Yorkers make such a big deal about New Year’s Eve. I mean, after all, every year they drop the ball! ~ I…