By Daniel Hooker
I was going to cook alligators tonight. But then I realized I only had a crock pot.
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What kind of award does a dentist get for excellence?
Aw, he just gets a little plaque.
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Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth, then it becomes a Soap Opera.
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I woke up laughing this morning. I must have slept funny.
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I asked my North Korean friend how it was over there.
He said, “I can’t complain.”
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The Secret Service is no longer allowed to yell, “Get down!” to the president when he is under attack. Yup. Now they have to yell, “Donald Duck!”
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Q: What do you call woman who burns all her credit card bills?
A: Bernadette.
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Doing some work on the house, first floor everything is on track and going well. But upstairs is a different story.
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From Caitlin, via Jeremy Clarkson:
Farmers don’t need digital ID – the sheep already recognize them by baa-code …
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A young lady at the laundromat told me this one:
Q: What’s a vampires favorite fruit?
A: Nectarines.
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Vampires love to write. They only suck at Type O’s.
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Q: What is a ghost’s favorite type of car?
A: A boo-ick.
