By March Twisdale
Today, on Vashon Island, most people police themselves and their speech. Reticence to express full and honest opinions has become the norm. I know this because people tell me it is so.
A woman slows to a stop in the middle of the road, calling out to me, “You’re March Twisdale, right? I can’t wait to read your articles! I’ve been here forty years and I keep thinking, why can’t we talk about things anymore?”
An Island musician, upon realizing who I am, looks around to see if we are alone, then says, “I am so distressed! As a musician and a conservative, I have to stay silent or risk losing gigs and friends. Can we talk sometime?”
Another Islander confides, “I’m an old-school Democrat, but nowadays, my wife has become so radicalized, we’ve had to take politics completely off the table.”
However, despite this growing trend, some have recently declared, “Vashon Island is exceptionally tolerant.” Is it? Really?
For far too many of us, Vashon has become an Island rife with suppression. Ideologues have increasingly forced their opinions on others, through aggressive campaigns of public and private pressure, resulting in an atmosphere of intolerance and quick retribution.
Freedom of thought, which used to be normative on Vashon Island, has become risky. And I do mean “thought.” Admit it. If the “wrong” thought flutters through your head, do you tense up? Wonder how you could have such a thought? Seek to squelch it, shove it aside, or change it to align it with what others consider acceptable?
Does this reaction to a tense social environment make sense? Yes! Because, thinking outside the bubble can lead you to accidentally verbalize your unacceptable thoughts where others can hear them. (Gasp!)
When we stifle our tongues, our minds inevitably follow. It’s how we avoid harsh consequences from slips of the tongue. But, perhaps worse, it’s how we humans avoid cognitive dissonance.
This is not the Vashon Island I moved to in 2004. Is it the Island you moved to in the 1960s? The 1980s? Or even just a decade ago?
Would I choose to raise my children in a community where those who step out of line can expect things to get unpleasant fast? No. Would I move to a community where people endlessly claim to love diversity while crushing it as swiftly and ruthlessly as possible? Definitely not.
Yet, here we are.
About a month ago, an Islander posted a brief compliment about my article series on a Vashon Facebook group. She wrote only this, and I quote:
“I would like to thank March Twisdale for the series of articles she writes in The Vashon Loop. No matter what “side” Islanders take, she is willing to speak about it. Keep up the strong work, March!”
The result? A flood of comments by “March Haters” dredging up their dislike of my views and opinions, extending back for years. They also attacked, condemned, and scolded the woman. “How dare you say anything good about that woman [me].” And yes, the attacks on me were very personal. Gross, rude, and intentionally insulting. These people even went looking for other posts I’d written (including about my dog, who’s going blind), just so they could write mean and nasty comments there, too.
Facebook gang-up moments like these have a distinct, chilling effect. For example, none of the Islanders who “liked” the woman’s complimentary post entered the comment section “snake pit.” Before you accuse me of imagining this, consider my conversation with a local barista a few days later.
“I saw someone complimented your article series on Facebook.” She said. “That’s nice!”
I nodded and asked, “Did you read the comments?”
She shook her head, “Oh no! I saw one laughing emoji and decided not to look.”
Yes. That’s all she needed to see. One “laughing” emoji, and she knew what most of us know. Someone was being cruel, hateful, and sarcastic in the comment section. Her reaction? Avoid the snake pit. Keep on scrolling. Don’t engage.
Contrary to what the “Hate Has No Place On Our Island” signs suggest, my experience is that many Islanders who want to be “against hate” are falling prey to others for whom myriad forms of coercion / social pressure are considered acceptable means to an end.
There is a fine line between working collaboratively toward a better future and trying to force it. Bullying tactics are powerful and have an impact, which is why they are so seductive. Stomping on another person, especially in social media venues, evokes feelings of power, props up ego, feeds a sense of superiority, nurtures self-righteousness, and offers a false sense of unity. Why false? Because a bully cannot be trusted. Step out of line, and they will turn on you, too.
This needs to be said, so we can start dealing with the elephant in the room and the naked emperors walking down main street in their invisible garments. The intolerance of those demanding tolerance (or else!) is deeply disturbing to me and many. So, let’s talk about it. Openly.
And now, let me clarify the title of this article. I said I want “Brave” discourse. But that’s not the real goal. I want an Island where “Honest” discourse doesn’t require bravery. One where you are not risking cancellation by your community, friends, or family simply for speaking your true thoughts out loud.
I value diversity, because I know the power and value of the minority voice. Because I am endlessly curious. Because it is the person with the contrary view (for now) who I can learn the most from! Because iron sharpens iron.
But, no. I do not value rudeness, hostility, character assassination, and bullying.
Why do I keep talking? Writing? Listening? And sharing what I hear from others too shy or vulnerable to speak up? It’s because I want us all to regain some Island equilibrium. We need balanced, centrist voices speaking up. Maybe you’re one of them?
We are Americans. We are a land of different people, melting together in a pot filled with vibrant colors. Our country is multi-hued, containing a beautiful mishmash of ideas, faiths, viewpoints, and opinions. We are not a muted, dull color of grayish purple. Nor should we want to be!
I will also say this. “If your ideas could stand on merit, then you’d be politely explaining them to us.” Not using compulsion, coercion, and implied threats to push them down our throats.
Human ideas gestate best and are birthed most healthfully from the womb of freedom. Our best future will come from a culture of celebrating the value people uniquely offer. It’s not just what you say, it’s also how you say it. Diverse voices, honorably expressed with strength, decency, and respect, bring the salt, the spice, and the glue a diverse society needs.
I believe the best culture trusts and values free thinking, free speech, and honest discourse. Do you? I want more stories, more information, more ideas, and more data points. Do you? And, I deeply appreciate understanding my own thoughts better, after having heard myself explain them to others. Do you? How can our “opinions” grow, shift and change, if we stifle mature discourse?
I want Vashon Island, and our country, to be a high-trust environment. A society where free minds, brave/honest discourse, and true diversity become the norm, once again. I want this for me and you today. But, more importantly, I want to protect, preserve, and foster this for all Americans yet to be.
