By Daniel Hooker
From Eliza
Q: What kind of shoes does a literary writer wear?
A: Converse.
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Some people are confused about what a will is. To me, it’s pretty obvious.
It’s a dead giveaway.
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Archeologists are having a huge party tonight. They found the largest dinosaur tibia bone ever!
It should be a hell of a shin dig.
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I went to a tobacco store I had frequented for years. It had closed and was an apparel store.
It was clothes, but no cigar.
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Today I found out in my research that having tropical fish in your house can help calm the brain.
It must be all those indoor fins.
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My friend Jack says he can talk to vegetables.
Yep, that’s right. Jack and the beans talk.
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Q: What do you call a French woman who gets scratched by a cat?
A: Claudette.
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Q: What do you call a moose that works for the CIA?
A: Anonymous.
~
When your girlfriend comes home dressed all in white, smelling like honey, and covered in bee stings, you know she’s a Keeper.
