By Daniel Hooker
One of the worst critics of my joke column passed away; I went to his funeral and I stared into his coffin: “You’re dead wrong. Thinking outside of the box is better.”
~
Someone asked me where my grandmother and grandfather lived.
I replied, “Alaska.”
“Never mind,” he replied, “I’ll ask her myself.”
~
Q: What do you call a lazy opossum?
A: A couch potato.
~
Q: What do duck hunters eat with their cheese?
A: Quackers of course.
~
I was selling bread crumbs for the ducks to tourists at Lake Union.
One tourist asked, “How much are they?”
I said, “Don’t worry. I’ll send you the bill later.”
~
Q: What’s the best way to communicate with a fish?
A: Drop it a line.
Q: What’s the best way to watch a fish?
A: Live stream, of course!
~
Q: Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
A: Because the pee is silent. And they’ve been extinct for ages, so they don’t even smell.
~
Q: Why should you always wear glasses to your math class?
A: It helps with da vision.
