Someone asked me, “What do you call a Dagwood sandwich now in modern times?I replied, “I don’t know … Rubenesque?” ~ A burglar has been casing a mansion for weeks. On Christmas Eve, no one is home, and so he’s able to break in. He sets to work cracking the safe. Suddenly, in the dark,…
Enjoy Holiday Cheer at the Vashon Island Coffee Roasterie! Illustration by Jane Valencia
By Daniel Hooker A friend came up to me and said she’s giving up ham for Christmas. I said, “Porque no?” ~ A rabbi, a priest, and a politician are on a road trip, and their car breaks down out in the country. They see a farmhouse in the distance. They walk to the farmhouse,…
Lately, I’ve been seeing a mermaid. We met online. She’s quite a catch. ~ What does a mermaid wash herself with? Tide. ~ What do you call a wreath of one hundred dollar bills? Aretha Franklins! ~ The media is a weapon of mass distraction!
By Daniel Hooker Compliments of my land lady, and expanded upon by me: I used to be interested in being a banker, just like my grandfather in Nome, Alaska. But I lost interest in making cold, hard cash. ~ You can get a sleigh online this time of year, if you’re willing toboggan. ~ What…
